“There goes ZhiZhi again, going where angels fear to tread.”
That was my husband’s response when I told him I planned to bring up a difficult issue at the morning meeting of our Family Camp community.
He had a point.
Someone had sought my counsel, feeling hurt about not being included in an event at camp. As we talked, we uncovered needs for inclusion, transparency, and clarity. And underneath them, one of the most painful needs when it is unmet in a group of people we care deeply about: belonging.
I realized I shared some of those needs myself. And this wasn’t the first time the issue had surfaced.
So I decided to talk about it. Publicly, to everyone.
What gave me the courage wasn’t confidence that everyone would agree with me. It was confidence in a practice I’ve relied on for years: Nonviolent Communication’s way of helping me care for myself empathically when something concerns or frightens me, and then turn that same empathic lens toward the others involved, before speaking anything out loud.
In this case, that meant a group of people in the community, many of whom were leaders with social influence.
What happened next reminded me of something I’ve seen again and again: a conversation that could easily divide people can instead become warm, thoughtful, and actually enjoyable.
It changes everything when no one has to be wrong.
This Saturday, I’ll be telling the fuller story as part of the Center for Nonviolent Communication’s Stories of Living Peace: A 24-Hour Celebration of Resonance & Belonging.
Forty-eight people from around the world will share true stories of moments when Nonviolent Communication touched their lives, one story at a time, across 24 continuous hours.
I’ll be sharing “The Conversation We Needed to Have” tomorrow, Saturday, October 3, at 8:30 PM Pacific.
The entire gathering is free, online, and open to everyone. You can join me for my story or drop in at any point during the 24 hours.
Learn more and join the event:
https://www.cnvc.org/news/stories-of-living-peace
What Do You Think?
Have you ever had a conversation you were reluctant to have that turned out very differently than you expected?
What helped make that possible?
Would Some Support Be Helpful?
If there’s a conversation in your life or work that feels difficult to approach, a Breakthrough Conversation can help you explore what’s happening and what might be possible.
Breakthrough Conversation – 50 min
We’ll explore what would be most useful to you.
Peace and warm regards,
Catherine Cooley
Peaceabl
Photographer – unknown
