Why She Won The Chocolate…

Happy Valentine’s Day!  We're celebrating the power, beauty and possibility of love at Peaceabl today with a story from our Chocolate Game winner that offers sweet connection, insight and intimacy, all from taking a step back and surrendering the need to be right. Here's the story...

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My husband was having some deep feelings around (what I saw as) an unfounded event. He saw it one way, I saw it another.....
​​I wanted so badly to defend my position, my beliefs, and the way it was for me. 
I instead just listened to him be angry, I just kept getting him, I did not defend myself or make him wrong (although I was in my head) 
He slowly softened ( I think when he realized that I wasn't "playing ball"). What came were his fears, his insecurities, his vulnerability.... 
We could really talk about all of that depth instead of the trigger, which really wasn't the point anyway:)))) 
The connection in that conversation may have never happened without me letting go of being right.
We were able to then laugh about my thoughts of wanting to be right... and I was able to express my feelings and he was
able to hear all of that much easier, because he felt heard......Being right didn't matter....
In the past, being right has stopped so many deep connecting times.....
I am practicing this.... it's starting to become a habit:)) ! He is my Valentine for sure!
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Peace, love and many blessings to you and your Valentine,

Catherine

About the Author Catherine

Catherine Cooley is a mediator and a communication coach. She has worked in environments of extreme conflict including prisons, the court system and local communities teaching what she calls "Breakthrough Conversations." She specializes in helping people foster clear, respectful, warm, cooperative relationships at home and in the workplace.

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